(Although I respect Jane Austen as one of the few female authors who don’t suck, that title’s meant to be catchy and ironic more than reflect her stuffy overrated novel)

I’ve been thinking hard about taking the ordinary level German paper. That would make the third ordinary subject in my pool (the other two being irish and maths), which is starting to get depressing. I mean, ordinary irish and maths are forgiveable, because Higher maths is a gigantic time sink that you shouldn’t take unless you need it, even if you’re a maths genius, and everybody sucks at Irish. But once you start getting past the two-ordinary mark I start feeling too ordinary. And could there be a more insulting word for it? Ordinary. Way to kick a bastard while he’s down. Even ‘foundation’ has a nicer ring to it than ‘ordinary’. They should call it “Lower-Middle Class Blue-Collar Wage Slave Level”, and even that wouldn’t be as insulting. Plenty of lower-class people who are unique.

So, I’m stuck between my pride and prejudices, and my perfunctory work ethics. On the one hand, you’ve got the humiliating prospect of taking yet another ordinary subject, limiting my potential maximum points from a respectable 560 to 520 (still clinging to the hope that my mind goes into overdrive at some point and I pull everything off with effortless perfection). On the other hand, you’ve got my lackadaisical approach to study. If I tried hard enough I could probably pull off a B in Higher German, or at least a C. Probably. But there’s the ever-increasing risk that I wont. And with the fiasco that was my orals, there’s even a risk of failing it, which would put a serious spanner in the works (seeing as how I’m aiming mostly for arts courses that require a third language). Which gets me started on the overall retardation that is our Central Applications Office.

(I prefer China's CAO...)

What relevance does German have to a psychology course? Huh? It’s not like Freud himself has risen from the dead to teach it personally. Even if that were the case, everyone knows that the rotting vocal cords of zombies make specific languages a moot point (they speak in death rattles, you see).
The other end of the scale is just as absurd. Take Biotechnology for example. Requirements: 340 points, one science subject, any level. If I got these results, I’d be able to take it:
Ordinary Biology: D3
Higher Art: B3
Higher English: B3
Higher French: A1
Ordinary Geography: A2
Ordinary Maths: A2
Total Points: 345
Imagine that. I’m a guy who lived in France for a while and is good at art. I suck at everything else, barely scraping a pass in biology (and I studied like hell for ordinary geo and maths). And I can do biotechnology, simply because nobody knows WTF it even is (and so doesn’t apply for it/jack up the points). (Note: Hypothetical)

And this is really the ultimate flaw of the Leaving Cert. People talk about “different kinds of intelligence” and how the LC “only tests memory”, and that’s true to a point. Thing is, you don’t exactly want a doctor who can’t remember the right prescription or handle situations under pressure (although 18 is a bit young to be making those judgments about a person). The LC makes sense in a general weeding-out-the-stupid-folk scheme, but then there’s people like me — and I really don’t think I’m alone in this — who work exceptionally well when they give a fuck.

Now, I give a fuck about my future, which means I kinda have to give a fuck about the LC, but I don’t really give a fuck. It’s an artificial fuck-giving. I half-heartedly give a fuck, so the effort I put into it is proportionally half-hearted. And the LC just doesn’t reflect that. If I gave a fuck it’s possible I could be the absolute greatest doctor on the planet, but I never really considered medicine, because I know I could never give enough of a fuck about the LC to get a place in it. And also because it creeps me out. I guess the counter-argument is that people who can’t adapt what they give a fuck about aren’t suited to the important roles in society. You can’t always do what you want. (Maybe I should pull up from this downward spiral of profane rambling…)

Still, something about the system reeks. Talent should be utilised by society, not discarded because the talented person can’t focus hard enough on crap which is completely irrelevant to what they’re talented at.
“I want to do psychology.”
“Okay then. Account for the rise of facism in post-war Germany.”
“Look, I think I’d make a good psychologist if you give me a chance.”
“Answer the damn question!”
“I don’t know. Something about the Treaty of Versaille.”
“Okay then. Enjoy your life as a plumber.”

The CAO system: even more retarded than this tiger.