It’s currently June 2nd 2009. It’s also 2.30am, and I technically have a Leaving Cert to sit tomorrow. My second Leaving Cert. Maybe repeating wasn’t the best idea ever, in hindsight.
I’ve never overdosed on caffeine to this extent before in the entirety of my existence (About 4 Red Bulls, 2 cups of tea, a coffee and several bottles of Lucozade Alert in the last few hours) and I’m absolutely wired. I am not, however, stressed. I was hoping the caffeine buzz would make me want to go study but, alas, no.
In many respects, stress is good. Panic’s amazing. Nervous, anyone? That’s great stuff, that.
All that pressure, tension and utter fear works wonders for last minute cramming. That awful feeling of “I’m going to die a Leaving Cert related death unless I stay up all night studying” which I’m currently craving will really get you going, and you’ll learn plenty. You’ll tie yourself to your desk and abandon sleep until absolutely everything you need to know is firmly lodged in your brain.
Me, I ain’t got it.
For the last week, I’ve been incredibly easy going. My mother, who chided me constantly for being too stressed out last year, is actually begging me to stop chilling out so much now. Assorted friends keep describing me as “deadly”, “a legend” and “a total hero” for choosing fun in the sun instead of studying. I hate them for it to be honest, my giant-enough-as-it-is ego is even more inflated than it usually is, and it’s totally overshadowing the niggling little voice in my head (which tends to be in a deep Cork accent, á la the Deputy Head of my school) telling me to “GET AT IT!”.
The only “cramming” I’ve done over the last few days is cramming in hours of fun. From road trips to icecream treks, and from adventures in the great outdoors to climbing freshly stacked bales of silage at night (Oh yes!), I’ve done loads. Why, in fact, I went to the pub this very evening for a while. I found it soothing, and when I pulled my English Key Notes book out of my bag I got slapped. Two days before the Leaving cert is no time to be studying, durhhhhh. I don’t know what I was thinking for that short moment.
The amount of epic risks I’m willing to take regarding nearly all of my subjects is a disaster, and part of me is horrified at myself. The other, louder part, of course, is telling me that I’m pretty deadly. Pretty cool. Pretty amazing.
As regards English, I may either be very happy or absolutely distraught come Thursday afternoon.
I’m part of the “You Can’t Really Study For Paper 1” crowd, so I’ve done pretty much nothing for that. I’m hoping my raw, amazing ability’s just going to shine through. My vocabulary’s beyond extensive, and I know exactly how to woo an examiner.
For English paper 2, well, that is going to be somewhat risky, if by “somewhat risky” I mean “Stupidly daring, and a definite FAIL”. As I’ve had to cover the entire course in one tiny little year, I’ve left out loads. Most of the course, probably.
For Macbeth (Which I’d like to point out, I’ve never even read) I know the characters fairly well. Well, I don’t really, but I’m lucky enough to have an excellent memory, so rote-learning an essay’s really just as easy as glancing over it once. I’m also somewhat familiar with the theme of Kingship, which I’m now being told will not come up. Great. I’m not really sure about anything else, but I’d probably manage to wing a question on Good vs. Evil or Deception if worst came to worst.
For poetry, I’ve gotten to know Lizzie Bishop quite well over the year. Nice lady- likes fishing, acute detail and other women, apparently. I also encountered one Michael Longley, who’s a fairly nice chap. Neither of them dictate, didn’t you know. They fire loads of random information at us, but we can ultimately draw our own conclusions from their work. Yeah, I’m pretty fond of that particular technique.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get acquainted with any other poets, so if neither of them appear on the Paper, I will probably burst into tears and leave the exam hall straight away. Or not. I did learn Rich, Mahon & Montague last year, so I’m sure I could pull something out on them.
For the Comparative, I’ve prepared a Cultural Context question. That is all. As is the case with Macbeth, I haven’t even read one of my comparative texts, “My Oedipus Complex” . I looked at the title story, once, but the other PLETHORA of short stories haven’t been so much as glanced at. I memorised points on the stories which make very little sense to me, and I’m fairly happy with that. I might be able to manage a Theme or Issue question, maybe. I’d rather not think about it.
As I said, this subject could go extraordinarily well. Or absolutely disastrously.
I’m hoping for an A1 in any case. Yes, an A1.
If I do get it, it’ll be a complete farce, an embarrassment to the dedicated masses who come out with Cs and Ds after spending months reading and re-reading the material. The whole system’s horribly flawed, and I’m embracing that for my own benefit. I don’t really have morals- I just want an A1, and if I need to memorize other people’s work and spit it back out on a page to get it, then so be it.
Also, this week, I’m going to be battling Higher Level Maths & Geography. I assume Geography’s going to be a stroll in the park- I got an A1 in it last year with very little work. Maths, however, might not be so fun.
I’ll let you all know- stay tuned. Looks like it’ll be a bumpy ride!
Now though, I’m thinking of doing a few laps of my house whilst listening to Bon Iver’s album for the 100th time this week. I’d really love to sleep, but it doesn’t seem likely with all this pseudo-energy floating around my poor, relaxed head.