Listen up, Chilllldren: English Paper 2

I hate to be the voice of reason here. But the reactions to English Paper 2 have been a bit extreme. I feel I should go over this with a calmer, more logical approach.

Why this isn’t so bad

1. Probably the most important: the contigency paper was made independently of the leaked one, by two different sets of folk. This means that most likely the paper is very similar to the original one. Everyone seems to think that the leaked paper was made, and then the same people who made it then made the contingency paper, which was made to be like, the opposite. This is not the case. The contingency paper was made as if it was the normal paper. They were made to be interchangeable. They could be identical, because the two exam writers didn’t confer. In fact, I doubt either of them even knew which one was going to be the back-up.

In other words, the probability values are the same. It’s just a re-roll. There’s still about a 95% of Bishop coming up.

2. Obviously, there’s now a little more time to study for it.

Things that won’t help

1. A petition to change the date. How would that help, but to prolong the suffering? People’s panic stems from the idea that they now don’t know what to study. Postponing the exam doesn’t address that issue at all. It’s just an illogical answer to make panicky people feel better. The only argument for this that makes some semblence of sense is that doing it this Saturday would cut into our study time for Maths/Irish on Monday. You could, of course, just use today to focus on Maths/Irish, as I intend to do. I mean, you still have Friday afternoon for Paper 2 (and you only found out yesterday, so really you’ve only gained time here. I mean, I probably wasn’t going to wake up early on Saturday to study anyway)

2. Blowing up Louth. Though fun, would be terrorism. Which is bad.

3. Refusing to sit the exam. By all means, be my guest. In a way, it weeds out the panicky illogical folk mentioned above. As epic as it would be, it’s also stupid. The LC just isn’t worth taking a stand on. It’s a pathetic excuse for an exam that I just want to scrape by and forget.

4. Setting yourself on fire in front of the SEC headquarters. The first time that monk did it in Vietnam it was funny. Now it’s just gotten boring and clichéd.

All this chaos and anger and confusion and desperation is a little over-the-top. I mean, most people weren’t all that worried by how little they had studied. Then when they find out it may not even matter (which evidently isn’t true) they freak.
Just goes to show that people are more scared of change than they are of anything else.

Also, check for Macbeth quotes (and a funny piss-take of it)

129 thoughts on “Listen up, Chilllldren: English Paper 2”

  1. I”m really hoping you’re right (especially since that was my hypothesis too, the exams, EVEN THE CONTINGENCY ONES, were set aaages ago)…but still, WTF? at least two students have to sign the damn envelope thingy…how did no one cop that it was the wrong one?? Oh well…at this stage its too late to be bothered to panic, it just means I’ve a whole day to study for maths 😀 oh and blowing up louth would be quite fun 😛

  2. Emerald you are a legend… I have stopped freaking out now (there was rather alot of swearing at the news going on yesterday) 🙂 I’m a little worried though that the examiners can’t read numbers on a box or read in general….
    I don’t think we should blow up Louth i think we should give it to the British that way they can screw up the English A-levels in future instead of the Leaving 😀

  3. Good points for sure, and I mean study two modes for comparitive… Learn your MacBeth quotes… And throw in an extra poet. Sorted

    Great news for maths paper one too

  4. This is a very reassuring post, and you managed to express yourself without swearing, well done 😛

  5. i was talking to my english teacher today…and she said that the paper was made by the same people! but like it won’t mean it’s way different, they have enough of a scandal on their hands without creating more! the macbeth question will be different, but tbh im happy about that! and the poets is the annoying thing, but like they won’t have the other 4, there will be some overlap!

    Don’t worry, they still have to give a certain no. of As Bs and Cs, they won’t have everyone fail it!

  6. The voice of reason!

    I guess this whole thing is a pretty “interesting” experience…

    Imagine being the guy who gave out the wrong paper… Having the rage of 50,000 17 year olds directed towards you must be fun 🙂

  7. “2. Blowing up Louth. Though fun, would be terrorism. Which is bad”

    So tempting though. I’m happy.. the superintendent was suspended. They really should’ve learnt to read.

    I agree with your logical points but I’m still annoyed about the less cramming time+ getting up early on saturday= too tired to cram! 🙂

  8. Not only could the superintendent not read but the two leaving cert students who signed the bag that said English paper 2 obviously couldn’t read either… lol that’s a tad worrying.

  9. Two students have to sign the bag with the exam papers in it before its opened… if they’d read it before they signed it they would’ve copped it was the wrong paper.

  10. Lol they probably did… You would be mortified after wards though with thousands of leaving certs asking you why you can’t read… I’d say they’re not the most popular people in their schools atm.

  11. Okay, I have to say, this is the best thing I’ve read so far. REALLY needed to hear something like this from someone and the idea that the paper is made out by someone different? Makes me so happy!

    Well done for the great post and your ability to calm me down! =p

  12. Nobody ever reads the paper. I mean, who would? “Sign here please”
    “Hold on, I must confirm that you’re not a retard”

    Anyway, whoever edited my post to clarify what I was talking about (English paper 2), good call. Wasn’t thinking.

  13. Hey.
    Zbyszek here from RTE Radio 1 Drivetime with Mary Wilson. Would like to get in contact with you early this afternoon.
    Could you send me your phone number if possible?
    My e-mail: [email protected]
    Phone: 01-208-3282
    Many thanks,

  14. Seriously i still don’t know wtf a DCG question is….?
    Sorry dude i don’t make a habit of giving my number to dudes with std’s no offense 🙁
    And i know peeps who aren’t 17 till august as well so I’m not sure you are setting any records just yet 😀 Bummer
    That was a late ass reply my bad 😀
    Does anyone know what came up on the ordinary english paper two…?

  15. Nah im still worried bout English ive already accepted im screwed for maths but there’s still hope for English 😀

  16. we all do have a maths paper to do before the english…isn’t anybody worried about that?

    I think we shud just egg the examiner’s house. That should be enough. And maybe slit his tires.

    and also give him a pair of glasses.

  17. i have s.t.d'ss

    that guy is such a douche in that pic u can tell he writes essay for fun and is counnting down the days till sims 3 comes ou which is tomoro people!!


  18. i have s.t.d'ss

    do not shake thy gory locks at me!!!

    Wooop i am getting in the mood for saturday already..
    am i setting a record for beging youngest person to sit leaving
    i wont be 17 till august there are junour certs older than me

    1. Sorry Dude – my Dad was the youngest – he was 14 when he sat the exam and 15 when he got the results – and that was in 1945!!

  19. Im screwed for maths so there’s nothing really left to do except accept my fate 😀
    I think he should just be left in a room with all the Leaving certs for bout ten mins….
    I think someone should have given him glasses yesterday….

  20. i have s.t.d'ss

    maybe i shud study!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaron away………………………..

    Oh no i hav un masked myself

  21. Nah prolli not… would’ve slept, ate, enjoyed the sun and probably not done anything anyways. But it was nice to have the option to 🙂

  22. I think we shoud rename Liam, Laim.

    Anyway, yeah, after the initial OMG-end-of-the-world panic, I’ve kind of relaxed. Still fairly banking on the paper being verrrry similar, but what can you do.

    Also, that pathetic march they’re supposed to be organising isn’t going to do a thing. (Today, at 4, on Talbot St….apparently…) I really don’t see what they expect to get out of it.

  23. Yeah Emerald, that was me who edited it. thus the huge increase in hits to your post over ones that don’t say ENGLISH PAPER 2 OMFG. see.

  24. Just for the record, I did not rename that dude to have STDs. I think he did it himself.
    He’s become a shell of himself ever since I owned him in a previous post…

    Also, doing the radio thing that Polish guy was talking about. 4.30, RTE1, ‘case anyone’s interested. So is Grace and Marie.

  25. good, Emerald, you and Elizabeth were in the Irish Times tuesday. Dunno if you were aware. As was Grace, Jennie and Marie yesterday. Put in a shout for the site on radio!

  26. I’m so easily persuadable, it’s pathetic.

    Also, Aoife, I take it back, having just checked a certain…. “in”….box?



  27. Thank you, I didn’t realise the paper’s were written by different people and each doesn’t know whats on it. Feeling a lot better.xxxx

  28. *Clap Clap*
    You should get a dude from the Guinness book of records down to watch you sit the leaving cert.

  29. Lol bet the other dudes raging your taking his record… you should send him a card just to rub it in 🙂

  30. Aw that’s mean… taking a world record of a dead dude… prolli even has it written on his grave stone… lol

  31. I need to find out how to stop it from emailing me whenever folk write comments. Email getting nuke-spammed.

  32. Laim: No, you’re awesome and all that jazz, just it’s exceptionally easy to misspell your name, it would appear 😛
    Aoifs 😉

    Yay for complaining on the radio! 😛

  33. Usually I’m against banning folk, but that guy pushed it too far.
    (Note: I deleted his most annoying comments. I didn’t want to, because it makes us look like Nazis, but Kevin said it was an ugly stain on the site. Believe me, it was OTT.)

  34. i have s.t.d'ss

    i am back did i miss the party i will also be on the radion at 4:30 as the record setting youngest person ever to do the leaving cert!!!

  35. woohoo Emerald for the banning!

    Can I call you Emmy? I think I will call you Emmy.

    This is sposse to be a leaving cert related site ? hummm…
    We are so off the topic. Its redick. …And I know I am not helping to get it back either lol

  36. On the radio in a few minutes, along with Grace and Marie (around 4.30). Drivetime with Mary Wilson on RTE Radio 1

    89.1 I think.

  37. i have s.t.d'ss

    hey all u foxy ladies y dont u ring me on [removed the number ’cause I’m a nice guy and I have the power to do so yet so rarely am allowed to flaunt it… ~ Emsy]

  38. I need to find out how to stop it from emailing me whenever folk write comments. Email getting nuke-spammed.

    I just had over 100 emails in my fucking inbox from this site alone.

  39. Emerald, Whatever man, it doesnt bother me in the slightest that you just copied all the shit i said last night. by the way, is your name actually Emerald or wtf?

  40. Hah, like you invented the concept of contingency papers.
    It’s just simple logic.

    (Haha, I totally did rip you off though)

  41. Ya doesnt bother me really, as long as it helps more people out. Nice one on the macbeth quotes, easier then flipping through every page of the play trying to learn everything you underlined or put NB BESIDE. WTF does NB mean anyway???

  42. Note well. It’s meant to be in latin or something, I remember hearing it once but can’t remember what it was.

  43. OMG, just heard you guys on the radio, ye made it sound bad, the word “panic” was used about 10 times, now their going to mark paper 2 really easy. Make sure to say the exam was very hard even if it was piss easy, if your asked to comment on it after the exam!

  44. Yeah Emerald you sound quite American, however I must say you are very articulate and eloquent in your speach!! I say that movie on cheating the leaving cert. More of a short movie/trailer. Really good. Too lazy to post link. Youtube!

  45. WELL TBH… the exam supervisor in the louth school isnt actually from louth himself so why blame louth???

  46. Knew people would be buzzing about my accent.
    My mom’s American, so I haven’t really managed to shake it. Not that it’s a bad thing. Exotic, really.

    What, Colin, you didn’t think I was articulate? 😛

    I’ve never had my voice edited before, either. Feel a little violated.

    And that movie is like 2 hours. Try Google video. Has the whole thing. Almost the exact same thing happens. Which is why I mentioned it.

  47. Yeah you did sound really American. Whereas I sounded like a D4 parody. And they seemed to edit out everything positive I was saying for the sake of DRAMA.

  48. What time were ye on the radio at? I’m listening to the Drivetime thing on the internet and can’t find your bit anywhere!

  49. about 5.15. I started recording like 10 minutes in, and the recording was 35 minutes long. It started at 4.30.

  50. Did not inherit the perfect teeth gene. Luckily my family isn’t so poor they can’t afford dental care…

  51. Finally, an on-line post that makes sense. The majority of the others are having hysterical meltdowns and I feel kinda sorry for them. People – calm down, as mentioned, the paper will probably have, more or less, the same content as the cancelled paper. As for people who are having nervous breakdowns now because they now have no idea what to study, or didn’t even study much to begin with-get over it! If you hadn’t already studied, why bother now?! P.S: Does anyone know where you could actually view the cancelled paper? Haven’t seen it yet.

  52. humm I wonder what ed-co and folens will print as the 2009 english paper2 ?
    the original or the contigency paper ?

  53. Damn, they didnt actually quote you in the times, did they?? “Also, dudes on the radio confirmed my theory”, your theory, really, i thought you said ” Hah, like you invented the concept of contingency papers.It’s just simple logic.” I know i said it didnt bother me, but for fuck sake, when i said it peeps just ignored me and carried on panicking. When you came to accept my brilliant reasoning and spread the word, everyones all like “your so wise”, and “wow now im just gonna study the same stuff as before”, and “emerald is so cool”, and ” voice of reason”. Like WTF, all you did nwas took what i said and added some bullet points. I want some recognition man, start a new blog praising my beautiful mind. Or else!

  54. Duuude, I was kidding before. I came to the same logical conclusion as you did at the same time.

    I didn’t rip you off, I just said that for comedic effect.

    I thought saying that would make it seem less like I was deflating you. I mean, I didn’t want to seem like an asshole or anything. Then again, accusing me of stealing your idea was a little insulting.

    Sorry to have given you the wrong impression.

    (In hindsight, referring to it as ‘my theory’ was probably a bit hypocritical of me)

  55. Also, the quote in the Irish Times had nothing to do with the papers being the same or any of that.

    In fact, the way they edited it, it made me sound like I was saying there was still much reason to panic. Which is a bit gay. Goes to show how much the media like to fearmonger.

  56. Yes ,ahem same logical conclusion ahem ahem. So you rip me off, admit it, then take back admitting it saying you were trying to not “deflate” me. Its obvious that this is just your lame attempt at making yourself look like the bigger man. Its obvious what happened, I , late at night while people were still running around like headless children panicking, posted my brilliant thoughts on the matter trying to help peeps out. And there you were not giving a damn, sleeping like a baby while this was all going on. Then you got up yesterday morning read my comments in all their awesomeness and decided you would steal them. (yes i said steal, deal with it biatch). So i still want a new blog praising me, OK.

  57. Is that your best comeback, and here was i thinking you are actually a good creative writer. Oh and by the way, your not actually as funny as you think you are, a tad bit predictable really.

  58. I think you’re missing the irony there.

    Wow, you’re actually pissed off. I thought you were just joking around, like I was.

    So let me be very clear:
    I didn’t steal your idea. You’re not the only person who came up with the idea. It’s not your idea. Deal with it.

    (Haha, I seem to be in a mood to rip people apart. Sorry…)

  59. As the name suggests I’m a different Liam to that other (but equally as brilliant) Liam.

    Jano I was thinking today, why do people stress anyway. Was there not equally the same chance that Bishop wouldn’t come up before? I mean, if you didn’t learn you’re quotes that’s your fault, get stuffed, do your work and stop pissing off people who didn’t do Bishop anyway ’cause shes just plain shite all right (figured out the other day that “alright” isn’t a word) so get over it, you should have the other poets done anyway ye lazy, inbred pieces of academic excrement. Actually I hope she doesn’t cope up which should both cause me great entertainment and leave ye all to wallow in the puss filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy when it comes to preparing.

    Okay I’m done, and good luck:P

  60. Im not exactly in shreds but ok. First of all, i wasnt the first to think of it, but i was on this site, and man even you have to admit that. You appear to spend alot of time on this site( nothing wrong with that, your a blogger and a LC student so it would be a crime if you didnt (well an internet crime( can you put brackets within brackets?( confusing)))), soooo you must of seen my comments(on like 3 different blogs) explaining the situation, before you wrote your own. By the way i love ripping and i knew that my last comment would touch a nerve, i wasnt ever really serious either, just something to do instead of English revision. And i take back the “not funny” bit, your ” Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit” and ” Off to a start” blogs made me laugh, and i never laugh at anything unless im stoned, so well done. Is this funny -Elizabeth Bishop likes Fishsticks, she must be a gay fish- well? Thinking of using it tomorrow. Key notes is a calling me!

  61. Alright. I can see where you’re coming from.

    Although your comment was mixed in with a flurry of over 100+ other comments, yes I did see it before I made that post. Yes, it probably influenced me to include my theory on the contigency paper in my next post (since up to that point I thought I was the only one and was mistaken, with all the panic, which is probably why I noticed amid the panicked ones). No, I did not formulate the theory based on your comment.

    You’re quite witty yourself. You’ve calmed me down a bit. I like that. I’d normally try harder not to sound as stony saying all this, but meh, mental block. You’ll have to take my word for it.

    Nobody’s all LOLs all the time…

  62. Kinda trivial now that the papers in like less then 12 hours. I think you may be in that downer stage after eating too much glucose heavy foods or caffeine. Try getting some healthy carbs into you( bread, wheatabix, pasta and shit).The energy is used up slower so no downer. Good luck tomorrow, should be well within your comfort zone anyway.

  63. Oh hai.
    Good luck with the Irish tomorrow!
    Hope the paper is half decent, and y’know, answerable.

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