“I’m fed up”- The Rant.

6th year is a stressful time, and don’t let anyone tell you it’s not.
Words which spring to mind when I’m to describe the experience include irksome, exasperating, aggravating, disquieting, trying, irritating, maddening, taxing, and, of course, tedious.
Quite frankly, I’m sick of it.
There are days where I’d just rather stay in bed. There are days where I’d be much happier to just do nothing instead of getting up and trudging into school. In fact, there are days where I’d be only delighted to sit around discussing Jade Goody instead of  choosing that 6.45 wake up call and, trust me, that would be utter TORTURE.

I could easily be in University this year. I got enough points in my Leaving Cert last year to do almost anything, with the obvious exception of Medicine, yet I chose to come back and do the Leaving Cert for the second, painful year in a row. 550 points was a fair achievement, something which I’m eventually starting to realise. Still, months after the results, I’ll admit to being rather disappointed by what I see as something of a personal failure. I feel as though I didn’t achieve my full potential, but in comparison to most people’s expectations, my academic achievements are pretty ample.
I see my A2 in English as a meagre accomplishment and my B1 in Irish as an utter inadequacy. Admittedly, I’m an insatiable and intrepid nerd and there’s no other way to look at it. I’m not competitive in a traditional sense, and it doesn’t bother me how other people get on- be it better or worse than me- as long as I execute my own goals, which are so high that they’re practically unobtainable.

It’s not too often I get into my major reflective mode here on this very blog, but with the mock results filtering through and the Orals creeping up on us, it was inevitable.
More than anything at the moment, I want to beat the system. The Leaving Cert’s designed to work on a bell curve, I assume, with few people doing dreadfully or absolutely marvellously and most people hitting, in and around, the average.
I’m not an average person, so I don’t want an average Leaving Cert. Obviously I wouldn’t be a big fan of getting 20 points either, so I’m going to need to be as near to the top as possible, as my artwork shows:

(Talented, much?)

Last weekend, whilst procrastinating away happily, I decided that some serious knuckling down is called for. Well, I’ve decided on this numerous times to be honest, but anyway, this time I meant it.

I haven’t got very many of my mock results back yet- but an A2 in English is depressingly insufficient. Granted, it is quite difficult doing a whole English course in one year, but it wasn’t even my Paper 2 that was the problem!
In fact, I got an A1 on Paper 2, but only scraped a B1 on Paper 1, which obviously dragged me down.
I know I haven’t got a great imagination, but I find it depressing that my style of writing’s not at an A1 level, but about 10% away from it! I wrote my essay on sex and drugs, probably a little bit too daring, so it looks like I’ll have to work on being a little more examiner-friendly. I’d like to point out, whilst the opportunity has arisen, that I’m not trying to knock other people who’d see an A2 as a fair achievement. I do like it up here on my pedestal, though.

Maths, also, hasn’t been my friend. I found the Mock pretty difficult, as I mentioned HERE. I’m aiming for an A1 in June, but with my result sitting at a B1 that’s going to be quite difficult. I was delighted to see my two trigonometry questions got 50/50 each and my Integration, Complex Numbers and Algebra questions hit nearby, but 26/50 and 27/50 respectively on my probability questions doesn’t make me too happy.
For me, maths has always been a whole lot of fun. Yes, that’s right, I love maths. It can almost be like a game (Almost? Almost?) and anyone who disagrees hasn’t lived!
What do I do when bored? Trigonometry questions, that’s what. When I’m feeling a little glum, how do I pick myself up? I integrate, differentiate and solve. With the exception of the dreaded Probability questions, my Higher Level maths papers have seen me through some tough times.

I haven’t got much else back as of yet, but I’m not holding my breath after those two. My Irish Oral is in a week, which is scary, and I really need to do well.
“Is breá liom a bheith in ann cumarsáid a dhéanamh trí mheáin na gaeilge, cé nach bhfuilim líofa go fóill fós”, or something.
“An bhfuil cead agam dul amach go dtí an leithreas”, to be honest. 14 years of learning it and 3 summers in the Gaeltacht and I still struggle a little. And French to follow. “Il faut que le gouvernement prennes des measures pour ameliorer la situation avant qu’il soit trop tard”- my answer to everything.
Here’s to the week going very slowly, hopefully!

To finish up, I’d just like to say, Happy International Pi Day to everyone! I hope it’s a good one.
Until the next time – Slán agus bon chance.

10 thoughts on ““I’m fed up”- The Rant.”

  1. Also: Eamonn! You’re a truly great man for reading these blogs!

    Have a star for being an excellent blog follower: *

  2. I can’t help but see your curve as more of a picture of some manner of freakish-mutant-experiment-gone-wrong Jennie-snake type thing, arching her back quite severely, than an actual graph… Keep up the good work

  3. Now that you mention it, it does look a bit like a bit of a mutant-Jennie-thing.
    Ha, your comment led to me chuckling and chortling quite a bit!
    I’m clearly not so great at drawing diagrams/ graphs… My only weakness!

  4. Bah, your overachievance stirs unfamiliar feelings of inadequacy in me. I think I’ll defy the system by doing average.

    Then, when I am unanimously considered the greatest human being on the planet, people will be forced to scrutinise the Leaving Cert in order to ascertain why my brilliance slipped through the cracks of their early-warning system.

    Because that’s what it is, really — a way to determine who’s willing to work hard no matter how silly or irrelevant the job is. A way to ensure that these people get all the important roles in society. Too much free-thinking undermines the integrity of the machine.

    Heh, maybe I should get a spot on this site. The left-wing revolutionary narcissist one…

  5. I must say, your blog is always very entertaining. I really hate this Leaving Cert business though. Is it too late to start studying? I feel utterly screwed..

  6. Emerald: Well said. If your comment writing skill’s anything to go by, you’re far from an average student. I don’t even know how to reply to that!
    I am a horrible overachiever, it’s horrible. Horrible. Horrible. Really, it’s absolutely crap.
    To quote dodgeball (yes, I’m cool): “I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don’t have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya, it feels phenomenal.”

    Sinead: The Leaving Cert, yeah, it’s not great! To say I’m sick of it, well, understatement of the week, much?
    Anywayyyy…Nah, it’s not too late to start studying. Fear not!
    Like, avoid complacency, but there’s still plenty of time. If you start now…. NOW!

    Marie: Don’t be ashamed! Embrace it, embrace it!

Leave a Reply