Looking back (and forward)

Now that I’m a ripe old 17, and one of the scary ‘big people’ at school, I’m starting to feel my age.  This is going to be a bit of a nostalgiac (and completely pointless)  post, so bear with me while I take out my pipe and slippers. *Leans back on rocking chair*

Today I got my first proper look at the new first years, or ‘Furries’ as they’re affectionately known in my school. They never change really..the shiny new jumpers are still reaching their shins (room for growth of course), their schoolbags are still twice the size of themselves, and there’s still that one sadcase with the wheelie bag.  They still cluster together in packs, afraid to look a sixth year in the eye lest we maul them to death. Bless them, they have the whole stream ahead.

Even though it’s been 5 years (wow) since my first day of first year, I remember it all so clearly. 12 years old, posing for photos in my neatly pressed, ridiculously oversize uniform. The bear hugs and ‘You’ve grown up so fast speeches’, courtesy of  Mammy.  Then getting into school, staring into what seemed like an endless sea of blank, unfamiliar faces. Everything looked so big and scary, and I felt so small in comparison.  I’d gone from top of the heap in primary school back to being the youngest, and once again how to work my way up.

Back then, I thought of 6 years as a life sentence, pretty much. The Leaving Cert seemed an impossibly grown up thing, far off in the distance future with hovercrafts and colonies on the moon.  But now that I’m here, no time seems to have passed at all. To use that extrememly tired and dull cliche, the time flew.

All this got me thinking about next year, my first day in college and how I’ll be basically in the same position again. Yeah, I’ll be a bit older, and wiser (well, that’s debatable I suppose). But I’ll still be going from the oldest to being the baby again, I’ll still be facing a crowd of complete strangers and making awkward small talk. And probably worst of all, I’ll once again be hopelessly lost in a massive building, trying to attach myself to someone who looks like they know where they’re going. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally excited about college, but that first day is gonna be nervewracking as hell, just like being 12 years old again. Ah well, at least I can erase the memory of it with alcohol this time :D.

Well, I think that’s enough pointless rambling for one night, such happy tasks as Cash Flows and pretending to care about the future of Irish await me.

Bye for now! 🙂