I had a lovely little blog prepared detailing the whole load of nothing I did over the midterm but then life kept getting in the way of completing it and getting it posted. I sorry.
The life thing that got in the way was an experience that left me in a very confused state. There is nothing like someone you don’t know berating you on your life choices while cameras roll in the background, waiting for any sign of emotional fragility. Yes. I auditioned for Reality TV. Fame: The Musical. It wasn’t terrible, I didn’t sell my soul to the devil (at least I don’t think I did…) and I didn’t really mind not getting through to the main event – the live shows – but all the same, it affected me in strange and unwelcome ways.
The reason I feel this is relevent to my blog is because it threw a huge mother of a spanner into my carefully organised career-picking works. As I have mentioned before, I love to sing and perform. It’s something I considered as a career for most of TY and 5th year, after which I got too sensible for my own good and decided it would be best to have something to fall back on, don’t want to put all my eggs in the one basket and all that. That’s the clever thing to do, right? So all the way through the audition process I maintained that I was not going to study Musical Theatre in college but follow my second love, Journalism. Most people found this very interesting.
“Why are you here if you want to be a journalist?” they asked.
Well, um, I love singing.
I learned very quickly that you cannot simply love it. You have to eat, sleep and breathe it. I immediately felt terrible for even daring to intrude upon something that people feel so strongly about, that was so important to them. What place did I have there really?
Evidently my feelings came across, as the judges cited my indecision to completely devote myself to musical theatre as one of the reasons why I didn’t proceed further in the competition. They said they hoped that my experience there would help me decide what I wanted to do with my career. To be honest, it just left me befuddled.
I always had a little plan: earn my degree, get work experience, then go off and try my hand at theatre. Now, I feel like I was selfish for even thinking about casually dipping in to something that others have worked so hard for. Can one really have one’s cake and eat it? Or should we just pick one thing and stick to it? I don’t know.
I’m not posting this to look for advice or even to moan about wanting to follow my dream and the unicorn over the glittery rainbow but oh it’s so hard etc etc. I’m wondering what people’s opinions are on this, do you have one career in mind only that you would be happy to do for the rest of your days? Do I come off as a selfish brat in this post? Probably. For the second time in this post, I apologise.
As for the commenter on Ronan’s post who said that the bloggers this year aren’t very interesting, here’s apology number 3 (albeit a sarcastic one. Can you hear it? “Well soooo-reee.”)
Also, I want to wish anyone who hasn’t already completed their mocks the best of luck! Same to those who just did the HPAT – that’s ye, Mister X and Annah. Hope you get the marks you’re looking for.
That’s all for now, folks.
Valerie
PS: To any mock correctors that may be reading: Will you please hurry up and finish correcting our mocks? Please. I’m getting antsy.
Hey Valerie, (and anyone else reading this blog)
I don’t think it’ selfish for anyone to want two things, it’s not your fault if you’re undecided. I think that’s my problem, I’m interested in too many things. I don’t know what I want to be, but some careers I think I might like are in art, architecture and journalism. And if I could sing in tune, music would probably be up there too! How is anyone meant to know what they want to do at sixteen? (I know you’re probably all seventeen/eighteen, but still!)
And having a few options has to better than one huge dream that mightn’t work out.
P.S. I’ve read a couple of your blogs and don’t find them boring – hopefully I’ll read a few I the other bloggers’s ones soon. : )
“I’ll read a few I the other bloggers’s ones soon.”
Oopsies, that “I” was meant to say “of”.
Ok, I am you. You are me. Well, except I do drama instead. 😛
No, I’m set on doing drama and theatre studies and I know exactly how you feel. I have wanted to act ever since I was knee high. I know the more sensible thing to do is to go of and do a degree and get the qualifications and then you can try and reach the sky. For me, it makes more sense really to do an almost purely theoretical course before trying my luck at getting into one of the big theatre schools like RADA or LAMDA. They tend to lean towards the students with the more “life experience” as well as the whole talent thing. I, however, plan to continue cultivating my dramatic experience through a drama soc (hopefully, the DU Players!) so that I can be better prepared when I enter the real and very scary world of drama school auditions.
I don’t think it means you want it less or anything. I think it just means that you are careful, cautious and realistic enough to have a back-up. Some people don’t have one and they make it. But the people who don’t make it and don’t have a back up…those, you never hear about. I think we are both sensibly optimistic people! 😀
You auditioned for Fame?
So did a girl in my year! Who coincidentally is my cousin (since all us Mayo people are related through incest and large Catholic families, clearly 😉 ).
Did you have to go away last weekend? Think she did, she didn’t get through.
Hard luck though, I hear it was pretty tough 🙁
Thank you Sarah! I am 18, but as you can see I am still none the wiser at what to do with my life. However, I am a firm believer in what’s for you won’t pass you by – maybe one day I’ll have this magic lightbulb moment and all will become clear…
Hermione! That is so weird. I am planning to DramaSoc it up also! I really want to gain as much amateur theatre experience as possible y’know, practice my craft *gets all theatre uppity* Meh, even if I never do get into it professionally, I’d still be over the moon to sing in front of like 5 people in a shed. That’s the way I am.
Yes Orla I did have to go away last weekend…may I ask what is your cousins name? I got talking to loads of people at the bootcamp and I never met anyone from the wesht, thought I was the only one! It was tough enough, the dancing was mental…I hope they don’t show a lot of me, I was basically flailing around the place being sweaty and yuck. I paint a lovely mental picture. 🙂
Aoife. One of the most common girls’ names ever there, so don’t know how much of a help that’d be to you, but yeah. You probably boogied, sweated and sang together 😀
Mmm.. hot.
Kinda.
Not really though. 🙁
Well done on getting so far anyways, it’s definitely an amazing addition to the ole CV, and deserves a bit of self-laud too. All them singing/acting/talent genes seem to have been lavished on my cousins by some amazing genetic miracle. Dunno what happened to my family though, I sing like a Algerian mountain goat with a bad case of bronchitis. 🙁
…Not that I’m bitter or anything 😉
I want to be a journalist or a PR person…those are my two main careers that I want to pursue.
Or I might just work in a few different jobs for a while and see what I want to do. My plan is to get mega points, go to college, travel and see what happens after that!
Oh god I haven’t been on this in ages…seemingly my prayer to the mock correctors was heard, as I have all but 2 mocks back. Will post soon with the deets.
Orla I cannot remember your cousin for the life of me but I am sure when the show is aired (urrrghh) I’ll be all “OH YEAHHHH”.
And Sophie, four for you! I second that motive. I think its good to be undecided. Spontaneity and all that jazz. 🙂
What’s with the disliking on this? I must be sending negative comment-waves.
Hm.
At the risk of sounding slightly perverted and a little forward…
…I like you.
😉
😉
I’m into forwardness! Not so much pervertedness.
Oh god I haven't been on this in ages…seemingly my prayer to the mock correctors was heard, as I have all but 2 mocks back. Will post soon with the deets.
Orla I cannot remember your couson for the life of me but I am sure when the show is aired (urrrghh) I'll be all "OH YEAHHHH".
And Sophie, four for you! I second that motive. I think its good to be undecided. Spontaneity and all thay jazz. :);
See, this is why I want the forums back. Less spam commenters.
That, and so I can win the Army System again.
I’m the same as you. Except with writing. I’d love to be a world-famous novelist, and it’s a big dream of mine, but I feel I definitely need a back up, so I’m going the psychology route.
The main differences are:
a) that even the best writers/editors are realists, and don’t expect total undying dedication to the craft, and
b) the novel is dying out, so most of my competitors are either whiny 13-year-old emo kids writing lame vampire books, or bored housewives writing creepy-ass romance-erotica. (Oddly enough, both apply to bored whiny housewife Stephanie Meyer, author of a lame creepy-ass vampire romance-erotica called “Twilight”)
Yeah eamonn! I was thinking “Ooh a comment!” and immediately got freaked out that someone would copy and paste my own comment…then it dawned on me. Urgh.
Ack! Twilight! Don’t soil my nice blog with talk of it.
But srsly – Write a book! Keep the craft alive!! Yeah!!!
I’d totally read it (as long as it wasn’t a crime/chick lit/vampire novel, mind.)
Weirdest thing is the spam poster guy changed “all that jazz” to “all thay jazz”
Woo!! Triple exclamation points!!!
My own little literary cheerleader…
Hehe
Emerald, i wish u repeated , your blog was the bomb!!
Yeah, you should have repeated with the sole intention of keeping up your blog…
It’s called prioritising, man.
😉
Why was the forum closed anyway? TBH, talking through comments is more annoying, it feels all Bebo-ey.
I’m not so sure about living and breathing something, can somebody not be talented at more than one thing? Take things one step at a time…you don’t have to commit yourself to one thing. Things aren’t black and white!
I never experienced the forum, though I am certain it was epic.
I knew there were people out there who felt the same as I do! The whole experience totally messed up my priorities and put me in a weird place I never want to go back to.
Thank you all 🙂
Pffft. Their loss Valerie. It’s great if you know what you want to do. But I don’t believe that just because someone else can say “This is all I want to do” that they’re the right person for the job. I’d much rather employ/work with someone with a bit of variety and broad experience.
You’ll get there anyway…but you don’t want to be a historian, riiiiiiight? 😛
Just seen ya on RTE today! your very talented. but i was shocked wen ya said u didn’t want to go through! oh well hope you actually figured out what to do in the end !