Much Calmer Now

A few hours after I wrote my meltdown post last night I switched off my laptop, took a few deep breaths and thought about what I could do to maximise my English grade on Saturday. After the initial panicky thoughts of “oh God, that was my dream paper!” I realised that the contingency paper doesn’t necessarily have to be a nightmare.

So Deception and Banquo came up in Macbeth- so what? Sure I had Banquo prepared, but not that well and who’s to say an even better essay- like language and imagery or evil- might not come up?

Bishop, Longley and Walcott- the holy trinity- came up. So what? It doesn’t necessarily mean at least one of them wont come up in the contingency paper. No matter what, four poets will come up. I’ve studied six, admittedly only three in detail, but I do like Mahon, and could write about Rich at a push. I think it’s extremely unlikely that the two poets I haven’t ever looked at- Keats and Montague- would come up with Larkin and one of the two that came up last year- being Rich and Mahon. I’m fairly sure that at least one of the Holy Trinity will come up, but if they don’t I’ll be sure to have an extra one prepared as a safety net.

Comparative. There are only three comparative modes: General Vision and Viewpoint, Theme and Issue and Cultural Context. Apparently Cultural Context came up in the leaked paper- does that necessarily mean it wont come up in the new paper? No. If theme and issue comes up then I’ll be as happy as if cultural context came up. In fact, no matter what comes up in the Comparative I’ll be happy.

Having slept on it, I think that this will be a true test of education. In theory, after 14 years of schooling we should be well-equipped to cope with this. We should be able to adapt to new situations and do our best under pressure. In theory. This new paper is a cardboard box with a giant question mark on it- all bets are off. This new paper will separate the students with a natural flair for English, who can compose well-thought out, articulate essays under pressure,  the students who learn off reams of notes. Unfortunately for me I fall into the latter group, but I will do my best to adapt to the new circumstances. After all, I want to enter a profession which will be filled withlast-minute problems and urgent decisions.  If I allow this situation to get one up on me, am I really suited for medicine? This will be a true test of all our abilities to cope with the surprises life throws at us.

Hopefully this will help anyone who’s still a bit freaked out. I take back what I said last night about all the work I did up until now gone down the toilet; the study I did over the last two weeks still means something and hopefully will still stand to me on Saturday. This goes for all students too. If we all remain calm, focus on our weaker spots and strengthen them as much as possible for Saturday, then we’ll all be fine.