O, that this too too solid flesh would melt..

Borrowing a quote from my man Hamlet, but seriously, the Leaving Cert is turning me into quite the fat bastard. Everyone has their own methods of stress relief  I suppose..some meditate, some exercise…but me, I like to chase my cares away by standing in my kitchen, with a spoon, horsing into a family sized jar of Nutella like it’s going out of fashion. My eating habits have become akin to that of a husky kid on temporary release from fat camp. The amount I eat is directly proportional to the amount of study I want to put off.  ‘An Irish essay on the economy, a personal response to Hamlet and a test on photosynthesis? Not a bother…but first I need to eat this entire packet of cookies for inspiration’. If I keep going the way I’m going, shopping spree for elasticated pants will be in order by the time the mocks roll around. By the Leaving Cert, I’ll be the one rolling around.If anyone has a cherry picker lying around unused, I might need a lift to the exam hall.  But it wont be all bad I guess…if obesity comes up as a French essay topic, I’ll be more than able to draw on ‘personal experience’.

So, now that the fat jokes are out of the way, lets get on to the topic du jour…the big bad CAO. I finally finished it last week. Filling out the form was a bit nerve wracking, I was typing slower than an arthritic granny for fear I’d make any mistakes. But sure, I got there in the end, and my choices go a little something like this..

I know its a mixed bag..my tastes are diverse and my interests are numerous. Nah, most of them are just there to take up space.Thats obviously subject to change, since I can barely decide what socks I’m putting on in the morning, let alone my future career. I’m already starting to reconsider law. I’m the type of person who’s very easily bored…deep down I’m just a spoilt child who needs to be entertained all the time. So I’m not sure how I’ll fare holed up in a dark corner of the UCC library, perusing volume after dusty volume of obscure, outdated laws. Yeah, that’s probably not what it’ll be like at all, thats just what I’m picturing in my head. But I’m keeping it as my number one choice for now, because I have no idea what’d suit me more. And I have to put Accounting down there somewhere, just to keep my mom happy. To my mother, Accountancy is the promised land, it’s Valhalla. She won’t rest until she has at least one child who can manage her finances. Who cares if I got a D in my Christmas test, and the thought of double Accounting on a Thursday morning has me breaking out in a cold sweat? And high suicide rate be damned..I’ll be moderately wealthy, and that’s all that matters, right? So, just for my own peace of mind between now and June, I’ll put it down somewhere.   And there’s the whole points issue, I’ll need an upwards of 435 even to get my lowest choice, and I’m worried that I set my sights a bit too high. My number one choice is 540…unless I receive divine inspiration or find a highly intelligent doppelganger to do my exams for me, that ain’t happening. I should probably put down a course with really low points, just in case. But at the same time, I don’t want to sell myself short either, so I really don’t know.  Maybe I should pursue some options outside the CAO..like selling home made jam in a farmers market. Always a lucrative industry, that, and room for expansion…I’d start small, just a few pots of strawberry. But with a bit of hard graft I’d start climbing the ladder…and maybe, just maybe, I can work my way up to three flavours. I know there’ll be a lot of naysayers who’ll tell me thats crazy talk, but to them I say: you gotta dream big.

Shlan!