Off to a Start

Woot, first post! I am so cool. Cool people do exams and then immediately come home and register their opinions on the internet. That’s what we cool people do.

Anyway, my contact in the Irish Times tells me that if I want to get into the papers I’ll have to be funny without swearing. So, uh… eh… like… um…



Morning was quite stressful.

5.30: Woke up. Bah. It had nothing to do with stress though. I actually engineered my sleeping schedule over the course of the weekend so that I could wake up at the right time. ‘Cause I’m cool

5.45: Checked my emails and shit. Came on here and made a comment just to prove I was up that early.

6.00: Drank some of that Berocca crap. And some coke. Considered making myself an apple martini. Decided against it.

6.30: Mom refused to wake up and make me breakfast. Bitch.

6.45: Dropped an egg on the floor.

6.46: Mom cleaned up the egg.

6.50: Complained loudly at mom because there was no bacon.

6.51: Found bacon.

7.00: Ate a bagel. Like a boss.

9.00: Arrived at school. Get slagged for my lacking attendance record.

9.30: Exam starts a bit. Started with the short story. Pleased that the prompt matched the story in my head. Did the “air punch” in celebration. Superindent is distracted by the movement and looks at me. Avoided eye contact.

9.50: Alan’s watch beeps.

11.20: Did the zoo cartoon film/animal dialogue. Nearly burst out laughing at myself. Even if the examiner doesn’t appreciate it, I had fun.

11.25: Alan’s watch beeps, again.

11.50: Alan’s watch again. FFS

12.20: Exam ends. Alan’s watch beeps again.


All in all, I think I did pretty good. Although this was probably the easiest exam, so it hasn’t boosted my confidence THAT much. Speaking of boosts, that Berocca stuff is quite good. I mean, it could just be a placebo effect, but it still works. Usually I get mentally exhausted towards the end, but I lasted quite well this time.


P.S. If you’re reading this, Alan — and you know who you are — if that watch goes off tomorrow I’m going to stick it up your ass.

12 thoughts on “Off to a Start”

  1. Berocca boost is class indeed, but both berocca and berocca boost taste shit.
    so its a lose – lose with taste really.
    berocca boost is sliightly better though. i suppose.

  2. Word up on the whole watch thing… Have this guy in our hall who does an indescribable throat-clearing/half cough/squealing noise periodically during the exam.

    I will kill him.

    Which story was it, the important decision?

  3. I can’t believe someone actually did the talking animals question. It was the most bizarre thing I’d ever seen in my life!!

  4. I had like 2 minutes left at the end.
    Enough time to realise my handwriting sucks and write out the alphabet on the inside cover for reference. Although according to the rule booklet I don’t think I was supposed to do that.

  5. HaHa, i beat you, you SOB. Think your great just cus you got up at 5 or watever, well its 3:35 and i beat you biatch. No,i lied, havnt slept yet. My handwriting sucked too, but that idea about writing the alphabet is class, im so doing that on saturday. i dont even know why im leaving a comment here, theres a good chance nobody will even look at this post again. Oh well…………………….

  6. I can’t decide if your mother is a saint or an idiot!

    Very funny post. Good luck on the next one.

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