This is a depressing post.

Thats my attitude. I guess I have up and down weeks now. Though, generally lacking enthusiasm. For awhile I thought I was on an up.. But no.. no.. failure comes to mind. And not only to mind because I’m thinking it, but other people are thinking it towards me also. And I’m starting to feel careless.

I’m missing more and more classes in school. I hate the word mitching, and the main idea put behind it. I don’t think its fully understood by teachers and parents why students do it. Usually their attitude is that they have been in school and they have gotten through it. But they are done now, they don’t have to worry about it any more so of course that is going to be their attitude.

Sometimes I feel I can’t face school. I can’t sit there, and think or pay attention for a full 40 minutes of class. Sometimes its even painful. You can feel your energy falling out of your head slowly, drop by drop, because of the severe exhaustion. It also leads to me being unable to do things in the evenings because I’m so tired. Sometimes I sit in a class, and wonder why I’m even there. It feels pointless, because my brains never there, so why should I be there wasting teachers time and my own.

My next big task is my art exam on Friday and Monday. Thats going to be tough. Especially because theres only the week to prepare and I keep changing my mind for the poster idea. Also, teachers think that art doesn’t matter and they haven’t been any help, piling on other work while we have an actual leaving cert exam at the end of the week, just because it isn’t their subject.

Anyway.. I’m too tired to continue. Meh.

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