Doing the Leaving Cert

All credit goes directly to Tom Sheppard, The Irish Times. Found this while flicking and thought it too good not to share.

5 pm: Student settles down to an evening’s. Books needed are taken fromt he bag and placed on the desk.
5.01 pm Student rearranged books. All books must be in perfect symmetry. All Leaving Cert students know good Feng Shui leads to improved study.
5.02 pm A book is selected to the pile and opened. Student then several minutes, eyes glazed, staring aimlessly at the page in deep thought, a form of meditation before the impending study.
5.10 pm Student awakens from meditation and begins to read text.
5.21 pm Student notices window directly in front of him. Student then notices blazing sunshine and children’s laughter. Student examines scene outside the window more intensely; he will notice the grass is an almost luminous shade of green, reflecting the sun.
Student believes grass is mocking him.
5.27 pm Student returns to reading text. In order to aid study, student convinces himself that reproduction of bread mould is actually very interesting, and will be of great use to him in later life.
5.30 pm Student makes note to research “delusional” on the internet. Continues reading.
5.45 pm Subject change. English poetry book is selected. Student begins reading.
6 pm Student finishes reading introduction in poetry book, opens Yeats page.
6.01 pm Student reads, “I will arise and go now”. Student begins to think about Leaving Cert holiday: warm days spent relaxing in parks, having fun, or going to parties. Student begins to think of the possibilities of days without study (student will later spend these days on the couch, in close proximity to a television). Student ponders various scenarios for the summer months, claiming it “exercises the imagination” in preparation for English Paper 1. Student returns to aforementioned meditative state.
6.30 pm Student awakens from meditative state. Student clears drool from books, wipes sleep from eyes. Student prepares notes on Yeats’s “longing to get away”. Student makes note to ask Yeats for keys to his Inisfree cabin.
7 pm Student takes well deserved break. Television is powerful tool in the restoration of the mind.
8 pm Student returns from “15-minute break”; begins to study the poetry of Elizabeth Bishop. Attempts to find meaning in The Fish, fails, and concludes it’s just about a fish. Student has no interest in fishing and changes subject.
8.14 pm Student returns to studying “outside world”, and watches tearfully, as the sun sinks away. Student takes pleasure in the fact that aforementioned children must now return to home.
8.30 pm Students attempts to rewrite history by giving many of the most prominent historical figures mustaches, glasses and various tattoos in history book.
8.45 pm Student begins to read about Jarrow march, realises he/she is reading about Jarrow march, stops.
8.46 pm Student adds up possible points for the 3,453rd time. Realises the massive task ahead.
8.47 pm Student finishes study. Student worn out.

Can anybody out there NOT relate to this?