Ce n’est pas un blog post.

It’s the day of the French oral. I wait patiently in a small room, feeling confident. I am called into the examination chamber (I was going to just call it a room but chamber sounds nice and fancy) and, strangely, there are quite a few people in there. I am confused. I sit and the examiner starts talking to me in English.
“Talk in French! Why haven’t you put on the tape?” I cry.
“Shut up you,” she snaps back.
I make some feeble attempts at French conversation, she remains unresponsive. Eventually she turns to me and produces a packet of chewing gum from her pocket.
“Fine then. If you’re so smart, describe this chewing gum to me!”
I panic, I do not know the French word for chewing gum. Why is she doing this to me?
She puts on the tape, but music starts coming out. She starts dancing and singing along. She throws a book at me.
“Read that,” she spits.
I start to cry. My English teacher enters the room and sings at me as tears roll down my face.

I wake up whimpering and shaking my head feverishly, frozen for a few moments in utter terror. Then I realised it was only a dream, I had not just screwed up my oral over a description of chewing gum. What relief!

Thankfully, I’m not terribly worried about my French oral. The Irish oral is a different kettle of fish, however. I have an excellent Irish teacher who in her spare time must also be the totalitarian dictator of a small country as she controls every aspect of our Irish-speaking lives, including our oral material. She’s basically given us everything we know in the form of notes and handouts and while this is totally awesome in terms of the quality of the Irish and it all looks beautiful written down, not much of it is in my head. I have around two weeks to get it in there though, and some of the questions I KNOW we won’t be asked (the sheet of questions she gave us must be from 20 years ago…Example: What do you think of the situation in Ulster? She made us learn an answer to it, in the future tense. There will be peace etc etc. WTF?)

I received a letter from Trinity a while back containing a questionnaire for the English and Drama Studies course, which I filled out hurriedly and horribly while trying to prepare for History grinds and which has more tip-ex on it than actual ink. However, it seems they didn’t mind that or the hopelessly contrived answers as I now have to go to an interview/workshop thing on the 20th April. Woo, go me!
Except not really. That week happens to be the week of my Irish oral and Music practical. Yeah. I don’t know if all schools do their orals/practicals at the same time, but gosh Trinners! How am I going to work that out at all – as the French say, on verra…

I must get going and do some study. Grrr.


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11 thoughts on “Ce n’est pas un blog post.”

  1. I got my interview for Drama and Theater Studies at Trinity too only mine isn’t until the 30th of April! Phew….although, my DIT Performance course is on the 21st and and my Drama and Theatre Studies at UCC is on the 7th of May so I practically hae one interviews/audition a week. Oi.

    Are you going for Drama and Theatre Studies as a TSM or as a single honours subject?

  2. I’d like to tell you that the nightmares stop once the orals are done, but a couple of disturbing instances over the summer beg to differ. But hey, that’s the leaving cert for you. One the positive side it’ll give all something interesting to tell our therapists!

  3. Hermione, I’m going for it as a TSM. It all seems very grand and I’m quite frightened 🙂
    What monologue are you doing?

    Haha Lawliet, that’s the only Leaving Cert related dream I’ve ever had! I’m not too jazzed about having another one…

  4. Ah, I did the interview last year and it was quite scary. The workshop was fine and laid back but the interview was done in rotas where there were two other people in the room with you as well as two other interviewers. And the girl before me was dicusing all of her profesional experience in the Dublin Theatre Fringe Festival and all. :S
    T’was fine once you got going then and they loved discussing anything unique or original about the questionnare.

    I’m split between a few to be honest. I have a new one from a play called “Shakers” that is about a girl auditioning to get into drama school which is quite apt really. I have another from “Portia Coughlan” which is one of my all time favourites because it’s so dramatic and I actually got offered a place on that one last year so I’m leaning towards it again. Decisions, decisions. God, I hate them.

    And leaving cert dreams are THE worst. Two weeks before english paper one last year I had a nightmare that I opened up the exam paper and there was no question on “Macbeth” for me to do. I took this as a bad omen and just look at what happened two weeks later. Shitbuzz. And then I got a C3 in english, down from an A in the mocks.

    Even shitterbuzz. 🙁

  5. Oh god I have little to no professional experience really, our town doesn’t even have a proper place to put on a show that isn’t a hotel or a school hall 🙁 I’ll just be blathering on about nothing, I expect.

    My French oral is this Monday! I’m 5th in!!!!1!! Arg. Hopefully it’ll be alright on the night.
    Good luck, everyone.

    1. Hey, did you see yourself on the TV?! I was gonna look out, but then realised I don’t really know what you look like… hindered the process a bit 🙁
      Saw the cousin though! 🙂

    2. I wasn’t on the TV! I can’t describe the relief. I did see my friend though, so I got a bit of excitement out of it 🙂

  6. Heya Valerie I love reading your LC blog . Just saw you on Fame as well, you’re a star ! Best of luck with everything xo.

  7. Hi Catrionagh! Thank you so much! I wish I could have replied earlier, but these past two weeks have been crazy…over the weekend I hope to get a nice blog written about the orals and practicals etc. Stay tuned.

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