God, It’s me, Olen.

Does anybody still go to church and confess their sins?

Well I don’t. And I guess all of those unpardoned oops!-ies has accumulated to such a degree that the Almighty had to strike me down with flu. On HPAT day. Great.

14 February was an ok-ish day and so I decided to casually shiver and sneeze my way to the RDS and see what was up. There I saw all these people queueing for free money. So I queued along.

I saw my name listed for Industries Hall. Nothing weird. When I finally got in, they were looking for my passport. Kind of weird, seeing as they don’t  need it to give away free money. But then I always bring my passport with me. Even as I write this, I am clutching it. Turns out, I wasn’t gonna be getting money that day. Instead, I had to do an exam for 2 and a half hours. Well, 2 exams actually. One was called HPAT and the other was WHO-WILL-NOT-DIE-AFTER-BEING-SUBJECTED-TO-SIBERIAN-WEATHER-FOR-TWO-AND-A-HALF-HOURS.

The HPAT had 3 sections:

1. Logical reasoning (isn’t it?): 6/10 in hardness – 1 being ecology in biology and 10 being able to figure out how to use a vending machine.

My class (as far as I remember) have not done probability, so the Q. about the chances of aces being drawn, was hard. However, when the whole “The residents of Pornocopia are all liars” came up, I was like, “Great. I studied my german.” 

2. Dialogue reading: 5/10 which is shocking because in the sample booklet, it was totally easy. The last part about the incestuous lesbian sisters not being invited to the funeral of their hermaphrodite aunt, I had no time to read properly.

3. Pattern guessing: 4/10.. I felt like the HPAT and the UMAT papers really helped me in this section. Strategy-wise. Other than that, there was nothing hilarious about it.

Anyway, I finished the first exam and managed to survive the other. Barely. When the inspectors shot the pistol signalling the end, I left in a dead rush and went asap to the toilet. I sooo needed to go. But clearly, not as much as the girl who went in the lil’ boys room, stared at us, and entered a cubicle. Feminism.

I left the RDS not being able to remember my name and my jeans were a little loose – but it will be worth it. Still, I’m determined NOT to repeat the HPAT next year. It’s one of those things you will never want to do ever again. Like watching Legally Blonde 2 on DVD.

8 thoughts on “God, It’s me, Olen.”

  1. Haha, this post was brilliant!

    Oh, that question said “Pornocopia”? Why did I read that as Porcupinas? Whoooosh.

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